Archive for September, 2010

The reason I am writing this post on top of my foggy weather post is because we recently had a negative reaction to all the Canadianisms I describe on this blog. What?! I know, how can someone have a negative reaction? Don’t you think I’m funny? I certainly do. I find myself utterly hilarious. I mean, sure I’m likely the only one who thinks I’m funny, but at least I’m aware of that.

But why the negative reaction? I’ve also been told that it appears as though all I’m doing is complaining about Calgary and its weather (oh and its bylaws–but trust me, if I was a REAL Canadian, I would still complain about some of the bylaws–for instance, did you know that abandoning a piece of dog poo-left by your own dog of course-could be worth up to $250???) I’m going to start blaming it on other dogs–“hey! did you see that dog over there? Yeah, the one running at top speed? He’s not running after his ball–he’s running away from his poo!! Go get him!) On a more serious note–I do agree that bylaws definitely keep order in this city–for example, another bylaw is that a child under 18 must wear a helmet while bike riding–perfectly acceptable bylaw. I like that one–I like it more than taking my kid to the ER because of a head injury.

As I’ve pondered the negative reactions and misunderstandings–I began to think about my fellow Phoenicians for whom I’ve provided “translations” for due to the fact that they know nothing but sun and heat–flaming, egg-boiling-on-the-sidewalk heat. But, I’ve not gotten a negative reaction from the Phoenicians–maybe they appreciate my translations and explanations of this icy, freezing, foggy town?

Ah well! Let me just get to my point–this blog or any other thing my wife says or does (hee hee..just kidding) is not meant to upset, offend or harm anyone. I (well, we both) merely think it’s hilarious to take you on this journey with us while we figure out just what it’s like to live in a cold weather climate.  😉 And openly talk about how we dress Jack in a windbreaker and tennis shoes when it’s going all “Fargo” on us outside. 🙂

Anywho in summary: We love you Calgary-even with all your bylaws! 😉 And we truly do love living in this gorgeous country with its endless bike paths and endless “not normal for September” rain… 😉 Now, let’s just all get along–eh? 🙂 Good. With that said, I’m off to Earl’s to get myself a Caesar.

Until next time: Love and laugh plenty.


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If you’ve been keeping up with the Bryant Household Drama Series where the self-proclaimed leader (we know who really runs this roost…), Danielle, has been offered this job and that and flying from province to province-in search of the best job and the best place to live–you might think from the sound of this title that I am referring to the fact that we don’t quite know where we’re actually at anymore–are we Arizonans? (noooo….too hot), are we Ontario-ans? (noooo….too cold), are we Calgarians?! (Yup! Just right!).

But that has nothing to do with this title because seriously, this morning as I drove around desperately trying to find my usual Tim Hortons coffee shop–I felt like one of three in the infamous group of blind mice. Why you ask? Fog. Hazy, heavy, cold, fog. (Phoenicians: see translation).

We’ve had nothing but rain, rain, rain. So much so that I’ve considered taking the Noah-approach and building an ark, allowing animals to come aboard two by two and sailing off toward a rainbow–all the while hoping that the pot of gold will be on a tropical island somewhere. Incidentally, speaking on the lack of sunshine, I went to the Dr. the other day and he said my Vitamin D is low–well of course it is! I haven’t seen the sun in about a month!

But, as usual, I digress because this post isn’t about rain–it’s about the resulting fog when the sun is trying with all its radiant might to warm us up again–thereby increasing the population’s Vitamin D (whereas the rain has another effect and that is increasing the actual population-what else are people going to do when it’s raining all day every day?? play Monopoly??)

Okay, back to the fog. So, we venture out after blindly dropping Jack at school–at least we thought it was school-hopefully he’s not at the local pub next door. (Just kidding–there is no pub next door, if there was, I’d have volunteered to just wait for him next door until 3pm).

Right. The fog. Yes, we dropped Jack at school and went driving off down Richmond Rd toward our coffee place to purchase some of our favorite crack-infused blend of joe. First of all, I don’t usually drive around. Danielle does. Consequently (and I mean “with consequences”….), I don’t drive very much and also consequently, (with even greater consequence…) I don’t know the area as well as she does. There are three different turns you can take into the shopping center where Tim Hortons is located. And so, I literally have to stop my car at each and every turn so I can see what turn it is and decide whether it is the correct turn. Why do I stop at each turn? Because it’s so foggy this morning that I can’t see my hand in front of my face–oh wait, that’s a different story–so Cheech and Chong…) I mean, I can’t see the car in front of me it’s so foggy!

So, using my heightened smelling sense when it comes to Tim Hortons, I sniff out the correct turn (okay, Danielle told me where to go) and arrive safely at Tim’s! 🙂

We drove back home just as blindly–but now as I type this, the sun is winning out over the fog and dissipating the cloudy blanket that is covering Calgary. And now, here I am, telling you this story–happy that it is in Calgary–happy that we are lucky enough to stay here.  😉

Until next time: Proceed slowly in foggy weather.

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A Lesson on Indoor Shoes

Today was Jack’s first day of Grade One! I know, sounds like he is attending a video game right ? You are on Level One (use your best digitized voice here). Anywho, the morning appeared to go well as we got Jack out of bed on time (something that will most likely not happen for the rest of the school year…), he ate breakfast in a matter of minutes (even with a nervous stomach 🙂 ) and after brushing his teeth and putting on something warm (since it felt like winter was around the corner this morning)–sped away on his bicycle sans training wheels with his Nani and Mom chasing him and shouting orders not to ride in the middle of the street, to watch out for cars, to turn around because he’d gone too far, etc.

The big Grade Oners lined up for school and like nervous, excited, worried, parents–we did what any parent in our position would do who’d just dropped their kid off at school–we stalked the classroom and took pictures from the hallway! Well, this is when I noticed all the kids walking in their socks–I immediately inquired about this–do they walk around in their socks?
“No,” my Canadian source replied. “They change into their indoor shoes.

What? I had the backpack, I had the lunch, the snack, the new school clothes…but no indoor shoes! Now, I can’t say I haven’t learned about indoor shoes–because we did learn about them when Jack started kindergarten. And for those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about–ahem….Phoenician friends–indoor shoes are the shoes the kids keep inside when it is snowing or wet  out so they can change into nice clean shoes when they enter the school–thereby eliminating the ooey-gooey slushy dirty mess that results when over a hundred kids come clambering down the hallway in their snow boots, rain boots or what have you. (Phoenician translation required here as all we know is blue sky:  snow boots–boots that are used to trudge around in the cold white stuff I mentioned before.) 🙂

But I digress–now back to the indoor shoes which I did not pack for Jack–so he had to go back to the entrance of the school and put his outdoor, now indoor shoes, back on.

I immediately ran to the store to buy indoor shoes–that incidentally, once I tried on him, were much too small. Ugh. Another day without indoor shoes! OH the travesty!

Until next time: Wipe your feet on the mat! Or for pete’s sake–get some indoor shoes!

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